Pronounced [ Dulo - pane ] nounAn exceptionally strong transparent sticking tape used by the ministry of defence to mend aeroplanes. When applied correctly the tape can withstand speeds of up to Mach 2.0+ and has been invaluable, particularly on the F - 22 Raptor repairing the faulty thrust vectoring nozzles. It was developed in 1995 by a British inventor.
Initially this was a completely top secret product for military use. The domestic version, Sellotape, was developed in 1937 by Colin Kininmonth and George Gray by coating Cellophane film with natural rubber resin. Dulopane is similar but is coated with super glue. Dulopanes' use is recommended with extreme caution. Super glue went on to become available to the public and carries a similar warning.
We live in a country of "do it yourselfers", it is something to do with being cut off from the rest of humanity by several thousand miles of increasingly warm ocean. It used to be said that "a kiwi can fix anything with number eight wire"*, but this has been brought into the 21st century with Dulopane. In this country an illegal generic version, "Dulopain", is used by what remains of the public health service. Dulopain does everything that stitches, plaster, stainless steel, and other exotic materials used to do. In ER it is used for restraint! There is a short and irritating commercial that appears (frequently)on television that goes "If it's a pain use Dulopain!" Blah, Blah,Blah ... "it makes it better!" (to the music of "Hey Jude").
ReplyDelete*the term,"kiwi's fixing anything with number 8 wire", may give rise strange mental images to those from overseas who aren't "in the know". (You might even begin to hear the song, "Bird on a wire" in your head). I think I would rather promote the strange mental images, so I won't reveal what is really intended by the term.
PS. For those of you who are "into" substance abuse..., do not sniff Dulopane or Dulopain..., it's adhesive qualities are legendary!
ReplyDeleteYou make me laugh Peter, I hope I make you laugh too.
ReplyDeleteBut actually Dulopane is a very serious product, so I dont know why we are laughing? Think of all the F-22's!
ReplyDeleteLaughter is wonderful, makes me feel years younger, puts life in perspective, adds handsome laughter lines to my face, and is why I follow this blog. You and Jess are doing a great job in bringing some joy into my life, and I am very thankful and trust that the happy molecules are bouncing around for you both too! (My only concern is that I do say rather too much most of the time so do shut me up by vanishing my comments if they become a bore! I know that some people don't "get" my silly sense of humour!).
ReplyDelete"butudd" is my WV by-the-way
You keep on Peter, we love it. And not many get our sense of humour either! But we don't care, we do this blog, Jess and I as a substitute for all those silly word games we used to play when we were together. We are a family that love to play with words you see.
ReplyDeleteI love the word butudd!!!
ReplyDeleteMy boyfriend is in the marines; he uses Dulopane quite frequently.
ReplyDeletePs - I love butudd too. It's like an Essex girl saying "buttered".